Playing Too Much Halo 2:? Here’s How to tell
Been playing a little too much Halo/Halo 2? Have you been wondering if you should take a break maybe to take in some of the Christmas Spirit, or maybe just to reclaim a little of your humanity before Bungie steals your soul with Halo 3? Well all of us here at TheBrig.org want to help. So we’ve come up with an accurate list of the Top Ten Symptoms exhibited by people suffering from Halo 2 Overexposure (clinically referred to as Haloverexposure).
(Please note that none of us are psychologists, Medical Doctors, Therapists, or really anyone with any sort of validation to create such a list outside of the fact that we all play Halo.)
Top Ten Signs of Halo Overexposure
10.
While using a Cellphone hands free set you keep getting frustrated when the conversation gets off topic. You intermittently ask where the flag is or if it’s clear to make a run for it. You may or may not conclude the conversation with “Cya back at the spawn”
9.
You’ve said the following words after sudden disappointment occurs: “Honey, I’m so sorry; my plasma rifle must have over heated.†This is quickly followed by a “Beat down†from your significant other and perhaps a moderately spirited attempt to smother you with a pillow.
8.
When driving your kids (one of whom was conceived during a paused game of Myth) to hockey practice in your shiny grey pickup truck you suddenly screech the tires and pull over to the side of the road. You jump out and unzip one of the bags in the back, handing each of your kids a hockey stick. “Quick, you man the turret and you get shotgun, I’ll drive,†you say as you put on a motorcycle helmet and pull the visor down.
7.
When your kids come home from school complaining about being bullied you pause your game only long enough to say. “Jesus! Man-Up bitch and stop being such a noob!†You then resume play only to get killed, at which time you scream, throwing down the controller “F*ck sake! You got me killed you spoiled Brat!! GET TO YOUR ROOM, YOU’RE GROUNDED!!â€
6.
For the last 4 Halloweens you’ve used the same 7-Foot tall costume made out of carefully cut up green plastic garbage containers. Surprisingly and perhaps coincidently, on the same day you found this costume in your closet all of the garbage containers in the neighborhood disappeared.
5.
You’ve decided it would be a better image for you if you spoke with that familiar, yet oh-so sexy deep, gruff voice of you know-who. Your wife goes for milk… and doesn’t come back. “She was a noob anyways†You say to yourself in the mirror while wearing reflective sunglasses, “She just couldn’t get the hang of dual wielding.â€
4.
When your plasma rifle finally cools down and charges up again you call out for Cortana only to be “beat down†again… But this time you complain when you realize you’ve “respawned†at a checkpoint much earlier in the game. There’s a dull thud. You wake up some time later on the couch with a nagging headache.
3.
Your friends at work ask you what your plans are for this weekend, you tell them you’re having some friends over and throwing a party…. you go home. You login into Xbox Live and play 48hours straight of matchmaking games. What remains on Sunday is a shadow of your former self: Fingers covered in Cheezie powder, a Chocolate ring around your mouth, drool coating the front of your shirt, eyes so bloodshot they hurt to close, and a full bed pan at your feet.
2.
You are disgusted and thoroughly upset as you read an Article on Joystiq about a Game playing Brat overheard on Xbox Live Screaming “MOM! I said GEt me Some MotherF*cking Chocolate MILK YOU BITCH!†As you write your carefully thought out comment, recalling the details of the game, you slowly realize this was you… a 32 year old part-time babysitter screaming at your employer for much needed refreshment as you played on Xbox Live with her Kids.
1.
You wake up in the same cold sweat in a lonely bed in the basement apartment of your Parents’ house with no job, a mushy half eaten bowl of corn flakes next to you with a type-s controller prompting for input, vibrating in your crotch.
If you have presented one or more of these symptoms of over-pwning/over-pwned, PLEASE SEEK HELP. As your Xbox playing brethren, get out of there. At least get to Best Buy or FutureShop. Go where they Recognize you and love to take the hard earned money you’ve made on your paper route; Talk, chat and buy the Xbox 360. Use it to pick up chicks. Hey, maybe you can impress the PMS Clan Chicks.
Of course, if you’re a female and you’ve read this and you have presented one or more of the afore mentioned symptoms…hmmm. We don’t know how to help, we’ve never spoken to girls before… but they look nice… at least Cortana does.
Though in all seriousness, if you believe you may have a problem with gaming/online/internet addiction, perhaps you should Click Here, The Center for Online and Internet Addiction
Click Here to Digg this Story
I found myself walking around town thinking , where’s the superjump ? so i can get on top of that building … i then realised…
I’ll be quite honest, i’ve had similar problems with the Mario Kart DS game. I walk through hallways and have a nagging thought that if i jump and pivot to one side, i can skid and make turns quicker.
Me and a friend were playing a game of kill the man and when he ducked to avoid gettin hit … he disappeard on my radar
after many hours of playing simpsons hit and run at my cousins house i began thinking in the car as my parents drove me home, “Why dont we just cut corners to save time?”
After playing several hours of Splinter Cell, I will walk up a semi-lit stairwell and think that if I can just shoot out some of the lights, I can move without being spotted by sentries.
One of my friends was on a Star Wars: Galaxies kick, one day stepping out of the elevator, he commented on how good the framerate was there.
I love playing halo but have a short attention sp…. Man i could really go for some chocolate milk. MOM!!!!
After playing Halo for several hours, my legs have been weakned, I can barely stand up. After walking downstairs and almost falling, I think I need a field medic.
Well I play halo alot and i call people noobs all the time, i dont knwo is that a symptom?
Top Sign of Halo Overexposure:
You notice that Cortana was mis-spelled multiple times in this article.
WEll Hot Damn, would you look at that
Spell Check Actually corrected it to that.. but bungie insists otherwise
Thanks Bob :^)
one day i was wondering if maybe, just maybe there is an alternate universe where there is actually a halo…then i asked myself ….why?
You knows its bad when you get a Mark VI costume…
It worse when you enroll you kids in the Spartan program, saying, “Your seven damnit! John could do it when he was six!”
hehehe
trying to leave a comment… can’t shake the twitch… must play warcrack…
when u walk down the hall in school and see someone wearing a blue shirt and holding a red book and u say gotcha bitch thats my flag now
When i go to a new place in real life, i like to pick out the best sniper locations to defend :-)
I saw a blue mini van and said they have the wraith get back to base
when u use 80 dollars to buy a mod chip and ask a hacker to mod your xbox
After 50 hours of raiding on EverQuest i found myself thinking that maybe… if my pet dies.. will there be 5 more of the person that killed him?>???
Hey, does anybody else see the ridiculous IRONY of a WEBSITE for INTERNET addiction? Just a thought.
My brother and i always comment, out loud, “then you pull out a plasma grenade and stick it” when looking at something ridiculous…
I also often wondered of a Halo alternate universe, mostly in this dream I keep having where I run around with the energy sword and kill all of my friends. It is a good dream though because they always respawn. They are a bunch of noobs!!!
One day i was walking down a road, and i saw this spartan running right at me! I ducked quickly, went off his radar, lucky for me because it looked like he was going to kill me. Once i realized this guy was noob, I thought to myself, wheres the cheese? Jim and Tom, I can relate.
Whats my problem? Do i have halo symptoms?
Love Phil
I was on the last leavel, i was fighting the last brute, all the noobs were behind me, i thought this was the end of the road, me and halo were about to connect as one. Then all of a sudden, my grunt of a mom came down, and turned of my love(my xbox) and i SCREAMED FOR HOURS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i just realized all my dreams of beating legendary halo 2, have just came crashing down, like a pelican shot down by covenant. I can’t quite talk right now, im being invaded by covenent, they’ve captured my grunt upstairs, i’ve got to grab my SMG. Over and out.
reading to the end of this article…
or worse, to the end of the posts…
or the worst… posting.
bludshotta, it seems as if you dont appreciate halo 2 as much as some others, such as me. I hope a sqaud of elites come attack you and your family, blow up your house, and leave you dying, all bloody, with your head decapitated.
so i had this dream right, i was a level masta chief ranking, and i went to a superjump, but now i cannot find my new world. i need help do any of you halo 2 junkies out there that can help me, oh and my name was formly known as phil now its spartan. Over and Out
is there a new map once you beat legendary? i heard there was!!!!
omg u can turn into SAMUS he is freaking awesome. ALSO FOR ALL YOU HAL GUYS OUT THERE SET THE WHOLE MAP TO ROCKETS AND THEN PICK ONE UP AND THEN GO UP TO ANOTHER ONE (U HAVE TO HAVE FULL AMMO TO DO THIS) AND TEHN PRESS Y 300 TIMES AND U WILL GET DUEL WEILD ROCKET LAUNCHERS!!!
dude its awesome
for more tricks and other sweet stuff you can insatant message me at steveyg404 ya i got all the codes for halo 2
I play Airsoft, and after a sort ammount of HALOing (13-20 hours) I suggested to my AS team leader we change all of our combat gear to Spartain Armor, and mod all of our guns to look like the HALO guns. no body liked the Idea, namely because there are not any Elites running arround, so we could swap our plasma weapons when we run out of battery
Also I am acutally Moding my combat gear, so that I can look like Master Chief
i think some of you really might want to go outside every once in a while . just a thought
Outside? I think that kills people. You want us to die?
Trust me I went outside once….if it hadend been for my best friend with his gass mask……I wouldnt be here today
You know you play too much Halo when…
…You hear a squishing sound downstairs and think that a well tossed grenade down the stairs will take out that pesky Flood.
…You paint a ball of Duct Tape/Super Glue blue and stick it to a friend only to yell: “YOu were stuck by me!”
i tell my mom to get me a soda or else i will bxr her.and then i tell my sister to nade the kitchen
so my mom could get stuck and im wondering if i am addicted because every 5 steps i take i throw my arm up in the air like i am meleeing someone
U know u play to much once u teabag a bug u killed
i feel so stupid i remember always trying to be like that sam fisher guy i would try to sneak up on my cousin…. i always failed
I jad a dream about a robbery at my house. this kind of at my muscle head guy stands in my house while me and my parents are out side. My dad punched his stomach, nothing happened to him. He knocked down my dad. i grab a knife from somewhere and killed him. Then he revived back as a flood. Some how i got master chief armor trying to kill him but he keeps reviveing.